THE Cub Report, Version- Viva Las Vegas

Some people come to Sin City to party, others come for a relaxing vacation, and yet others are forced here by work, I use it to shop for watches. Yes, I take watch collecting almost as seriously as I do rc, so here I am seeking out a diamond (or two) in the rough to add to my ever expanding collection. But even that can’t keep my mind busy for that long, so it has once again wandered to the love of my life, rc. And while thinking about rc during this trip I’ve thought about some of the things I like/hate the most in racing……

* Ya know, I hate it when a race day is too long. You know what I’m talking about, those tracks where the doors open at 8 am, they get like 300 entries (out of about 75 people), and the first mains don’t even start until 9 pm. However… I equally hate it when race days are too short. Like… the tracks that open up the doors at 10 am and are completely finished by 3 pm. What the heck am I gonna do with the rest of my day? Watch football? No thanks, I’d rather be hacking on Iron Mikeee.

* I hate getting to the track so I can snag a rockstar pit area, then 2 hours later some idiots pits next to me who insists on listen to sh!t-kicker music all day on his wireless speakers. Oh ya, that idiot also didn’t bring any tools, so he borrows all day, and he brings so much rc crap with him that it expands into my “area”. Oh, then… his three kids show up, all under the age of 5, who use me as a snot rag and monkey bars for the rest of the day. Ya, good times.

* I also hate that the qualifiers/mains are still too short. 5 minute quals? I want more track time than that, so I build 3 cars and run 3 classes to get my rc driving fix for the week. But that isn’t cheap, that means 3 “good” servos, 3 good speedos, 6 good LiPos, and well, 3 full cars with hop-ups. Then… once I start racing 3 classes, I never have any time to wrench between rounds, which then means I miss races because I tapped a pipe and have to change out an a-arm. And it is always my luck that all three of my races are back-to-back, where I then have to beg (read- pay) someone to marshal for me. If I only run one class, I’m bored silly all day and wonder why I wasted the day to get 15 total minutes of track time (and I still pay for someone to marshal for me).

* Not only do I loathe marshaling and will avoid it any cost, I hate anyone who actually does their duty and goes out and marshals. Whenever I crash (which is Extremely RARE- blatant lie) I always get the noob marshal that points me the wrong way on the track, the too fast marshal that throws my car down right in front of another car that promptly slams into me, or the innocuous cell phone marshal who is just about to beat Master52’s fast lap on Mad Skills 2 and could care less about my car being upside down.

* I hate the drivers meeting, all of them, at every track. Some tracks still have’em, some don’t, but I’ve never been a to drivers meeting where I actually learned something that I really needed to know. Check, the track uses stupid IFMAR qualifying, so qualifying isn’t “racing” so let a faster guy by (read- fat chance). Check, Wilma is making hot dogs in the kitchen with half the money going to the local Boy Scouts. Check, the track has had an issue with hacking lately so please quit slamming into each other (read- really fat chance). Check, the points series totals should go up on the website later this week (read- you’re kidding right?).

* I hate announcers, well except for Scotty Ernst that is. Most announcers are absolutely terrible and I really don’t need them telling me how I just dropped from 3rd to 8th in one lap. I didn’t drop back, I got hacked back.

* I definitely hate every track. IMHO every track is too slick, too dry, too grippy, too wet, too jumpy, doesn’t have enough airtime, too curvy, doesn’t have enough turns, etc. Yes, all tracks blow, well, except for the ones I build of course.

Basically to boil it down, I hate every single aspect of racing (but yes, I am going again this weekend!!!).

That’s it ya bloody savages, support your local hobby shops and bash spots when ya can.

YOUR Cub Reporter